written @ 12:25 p.m. on October 20, 2002
I really dont know anymore. I wanna stay here but i am so fed up with my main reason for staying that moving looks nice. (Jennie, if you are reading this first go back an entry)
I dont work so hard only to put up with a bunch of really rude people. So what we didnt win. its just something that we have to deal with. The other bands work just as hard and long as we do so give them props when something good happens for them. Santa Fe went into yesterdays competitions with a purpose...to beat East Lake. Did we have a purpose? No, our reason was for the joy of performing, but of course it seems like everyone needs a reason on why they do something. Now as everything seems to be falling apart, i have been evaluating why i am in band, and honestly outside of loving I have no reason. Seeing as i am not loving it rihgt now i dont know why i am sticking around. My life could be a whole lot easier if i gave this up. I dont know anymore. I especially dont see why any of the insturctors have stuck around, they could all be working with kids who want to be there and arent talking about them behind there backs, i dont really care if they are "joking" or not. It isnt right. I definately wouldnt be workign with kids who didnt have enough respect for me to not do that.
Ugh i am gonna stop now before this topic upsets me anymore.
Sara