written @ 5:36 p.m. on July 19, 2002
If you are in something because its fun, then why is it so hard to make it fun again? Better yet why is it so hard to tear yourself away from it? I am told all the time that i should just quit and join something else. Something's going on and i cant tell what. It is like people are going behind backs of people that overall have say in what goes on to get thier way and what they want. I mean people who are supposed to be setting the "standards" of how things are supposed to go. I have this feeling that something horriblely awful is going to happen, and the worst thing is that thing may be nothing. Nothing would be bad. Maybe things will be better when things actually start going and i am not just wasting my day doing nothing. I am gonna give this some more time. Hopefully things get better because i can tell you now that if they dont this year is going to suck. I have better things to do than to make the supposedly best years of my life suck even more than they alreayd have.
Gotta go get ready for hell on earth.
Sara