written @ 9:43 p.m. on June 26, 2002
Why is it that after working sooo hard to stop from being jealous of other people i end up becomming jealous of the people that are closet to me? Ah. It drives me crazy, I mean for once can I just be at peace with something that I am apparentally lacking? Obviously not. It kinda drives me crazy...well does, not just kinda does. Yeah, of course my jealous is just over petty things that i shouldnt even worry about, and on a regular basis i could care less about. Urgh. it drives me absolutely crazy. I shouldnt feel like this towards my best friend(s) who love me to death. I just shouldnt. It isnt like these are people who treat me different because i dont have this or this and i am not going out with anyone. Ahhh...whatever i am stopping this rambling because it is making everything worse.
On to better things. Turns out that i didnt have to wait 3 days before my presurgury life began again. The doctors appt was moved to Tuesday and then i was go to go.
Band, last night...well was the hardest thing i have done in forever. I could barely play it hurt so much and by the time my throat stopped hurting i had lost what little of my chops i had left. I cant belive that i lost my chops in two weeks >:/ I was sooooooo frusturated with everything, especially with the music. Never in my life had i felt like pushing over the stand because i couldnt play something. Urgh. I wasnt harassed by Derek (insturctor dude) though. First time in years. He acted totally different, that could make this year fun. Reassuring rather than beating. It could work.
Today was super fun, well from 1:00 on when i wasnt doing chores. Christine and I hung out the whole day. First, we went to Applebees for lunch. Chicken salads and onion petals. Then we moved on to the movie theater and saw My Big Fat Greek Wedding. Cute movie. Joey Fatone, that funny strangely annoying Nsyncer was in it. Not a main role so dont let that scare you from going to see it. It was cute though. Made me gratefull that i will not have that many problems...hopefully...when i attempt to get married. After the movie we wandered the mall. I bought a shirt, forcing myself not to wear it till school starts. Its from PacSun of course, and has a rubberducky with bubbles on it and it says Got Water? Ahh..just another fun shirt to add to my collection. I seriously noticed today that my closet was lacking when it came to non slacker style wear, ie skirts and matching stuff that goes with that kinda stuff. Seriously lacking, but i mean like during the shcool year as long as it is clean and looks semi decent i dont care. Now that i have time to actually get ready to go places i am like wow i need help. OKay anyways after the mall we went to Christines church, where we discovered that it was sing at the nursing home night. Poor Christine she felt bad because of the whole me just having my tonsils out. She was like when i leave there i leave with a sore throat so you you are not allowed to sing. Ahhhh but sing it did. Infact i knew most of the hymns that were sung. I think i impressed some people. Honestly i think everyone that sees a new person in the churchs thinks that they have never been to church before. Anyway it was interesting. There are some pretty cute guys in the youth group there. Unfortunatly the ones that i pointed out that i liked were...well TAKEN, like always. heehee Cowboy and the other one my buddy likes, but i just think they are cute and that is all that is based on.
eh i am being kicked off os this has to end.
<3 Sara
::insert some sort of emotion smiley here::
i dont know what emotion i am feeling at the mometn and i dont have time to find a face